Everyone always says to be grateful for what I have when I say I am envious of others.
Who doesn’t want better for themselves?
Am I being unrealistic in wanting a better life?
I am always reminded of the saying, ‘I felt bad that I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet’ I’d rather not need shoes.
I am grateful for what I have, I just feel that had certain decisions not been made for me and had I made better decisions in my past, I could have had so much more than I do.
I’m not talking about material things as much as I am a more relaxed and comfortable life.
I wanted to be a housewife, take care of the house and kids and have time to do things I enjoyed, making things, gardening, cooking, etc. I wanted to make a ‘home’, not just a thrown together house because I worked full time and didn’t have time to properly decorate and fix up said house. Oh and I wanted it to be way closer to nature than the ‘burbs’.
My house has come a long way in the last year or two. I was unemployed and with my other halfs help was able to do some things, money being tight, I couldn’t do all that I wanted, but it does look better and feel more like a home.
Thanks to everyone who has helped us with any of the house ‘stuff’ over the last couple years.
Now I’m back to full time work again, out of necessity, and have no time for my jewelry making or my house.
Thank goodness we are taking our yearly pilgrimage north. We will be in a cabin on a lake in Maine for a week and camping in my aunt’s backyard for a night or two in Connecticut.
Ahh, going home to the woods again. I will have a brief reprieve from all the negativity that creeps up on me after being away from nature to long. A cleansing of sorts.
In the US the big theme is freedom. Are we really free?
I think freedom is an illusion when living in a modern society. You cannot just live your life anyway you want unless you start planning it when you are too young to know what it is that you truly want.
You can’t just drop out of society and live wherever you want without becoming a homeless drifter.
Back in history, we woke with the sun, worked on providing for our family, growing food and making the things we needed. Retreating to our homes when the sun went down to eat and rest.
Everyone in the area knew everyone else and you didn’t worry that your children would be taken, everyone was watching them.
I think living this way is better for the soul.
I want out. I want to live off the land. I want to build and make whatever I need for survival. I want to teach my daughter that she has to work for what she wants, but not just work for the money to buy it from someone else.
Teaching her to be self sufficient without buying into the capitalist, consumerism that seems to have taken over much of the world we live in.
Rant over for now