‘Monsanto is a walking legal and environmental nightmare.’



New health goal

Well after realizing that my sinus infection before vacation woke up my Lyme disease, I decided to do something other than call the Dr for antibiotics that just cause more problems.

I posted a question to a Lyme support group on Facebook for recommendations of natural homeopathic remedies. I was suggested a bunch of different things,  but a couple seemed to be the most mentioned.

I investigated the remedies online and then called the nutritionist at the health food store near my job.

We had a long discussion on the phone and I went there after work to get some of the things that we had discussed and ask a few more questions that had come up after our phone chat.

All in all I got out of there with what I think are the best remedies for my specific conditions and for less $ than I had expected.

Had I called the Dr. I would have either had to go in, over $100 visit with no insurance, not including any tests he might have sent me for, or I would have spent the same our more on the drugs he would have called in.

I am hopeful that these remedies, although I know they don’t work overnight, work well enough by the time I need to buy more, that I can consider replacing one or both of my prescriptions with herbal ones.

Wish me luck 🙂


Working, Lyme & Possibilities

Part I – Working & Lyme

OK, so I haven’t been feeling well lately. I have really bad allergies which usually turn into sinus infections that lead me into a Lyme re-occurrence.

I did find an organic sinus rejuvenation oil that was clearing up my sinuses while on vacation. It doesn’t seem to be doing much now, but I will keep using it, since they say it takes using a whole vial to feel the full effects.

I have been having aches and pains lately, strange ones, hard to explain what they feel like, but they are making me worry about my blood circulation.

Since I started working full-time again in May, I have switched from doing things around the house and barely sitting at all, to sitting at a desk all day long. I’m sure this has something to do with the aches. I am nowhere near as active as I was at home.

I have been checking the Lyme blogs and message boards for people with similar issues and found out that an issue that a lot of people seem to develop after having Lyme is fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and Lyme arthritis.

They all advise regular exercise of some sort, changing diet and a lot of talk about doing regular cleanses of the bowels, liver, kidneys and so on.

I am tired of being sick. Even when I’m not sick, I’m sick. My depression is always an underlying issue that waits until all is well and then pops up to say hi.

I did 2 years or so of antibiotics when I was diagnosed with Lyme and then another year after a flare up from a sinus infection. I am thinking that maybe there’s a better way of dealing with all of this shit that doesn’t involve ‘Big Pharma’.

I know that living on Advil, iron pills, Valium and Wellbutrin is not good. They all have their own side effects that can end up being worse than the initial illness.

I’ve always said that I wasn’t designed to sit behind a desk. Ok, I’ve whined enough, on to…

Part II – Possibilities

In my post Vacation & Renewed Hope I mentioned possible headway with regards to meeting my birth mother. Well, I have the letter written and ready to send out to her. 45 years of wondering and wanting to meet her had me writing my life story, diarrhea of the pen.

My BFF knew I was going to have a hard time writing a short & sweet note to her just introducing myself. (In case you haven’t noticed, I tend to ramble.) so she sent me an email with what she thought I should say, which I used as a template to formulate it. I then emailed it to my sister that lives with her asking for her opinion, since it is important that I don’t scare her away. This is the closest I’ve come to opening communication with her to date. My sister then gave me some pointers on things that I shouldn’t mention and I rewrote it, being a little more detached. I tried to think of it as an editing project so that I could be objective.

I am going to print some pictures out and include them with the note. My sister said she was able to talk to her a little about me and that she didn’t get mad or shut the conversation down, so there’s still hope that this will turn out positive.

In closing, I guess what I am going to do is get the letter and pics sent and then concentrate on my health so that I don’t obsess while waiting for a response.


Vacation & Renewed Hope

If you’re wondering where I’ve been lately, here’s the rundown.

I am going to try and make this short and sweet while I’m eating my lunch..

  1. I am working full time again and doing part time copy-editing from home.
  2. I went to Maine & Connecticut to visit some friends and family.

So on the vacation part, we went to visit my fiancee’s long time friend who moved to Sedgwick, Maine about a dozen years ago and has now started his own brewery. They were the coolest people and I can’t wait to go back and see them again. They hooked us up with a cabin to stay in for free. We had tons of food, including a fresh (straight off the boat) lobster/crab fest. My daughter had a sleepover with their daughter, went strawberry picking and helped take care of their ducks. We saw a bear outside the cabin!! We also went to Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park. It was rainy/foggy and cool the whole time.

From there we went to northeastern Connecticut, where I was born and where most of my biological (I’m adopted) family lives. We were supposed to set up our tent in my Aunt’s backyard, but with the threat of rain I asked if we could throw our sleeping bags on her floor. That turned into her boyfriend converting the living room into our bedroom while we were out visiting my other Aunt. Glad we got to stay in the house though, it never rained but was humid and hot. We would have melted in the tent. While there we visited all of my Aunts & Uncles, (except one who was sick) went to a local summer artisan street fair First Fridays, swam and BBQ’d at Quaddick Park. We ended up missing the fireworks in Putnam on Saturday night because my younger sister, who I haven’t had the chance to spend much time with since we met in 1995, had a cookout.

Here is where the renewed hope comes in. She used to shy away from spending time with me, for a variety of reasons, one of which was our mother. She has always lived with and taken care of her. She (our mother) didn’t want to meet me at all and for years wouldn’t even discuss me with my 2 sisters. (I was the only one she didn’t keep). I assumed that if our mother was still living with her, she wouldn’t have invited me, but surprise! Our mother does still live with her. She has her own 2 rooms upstairs and did not come out to the cookout because there were too many people there for her to feel comfortable. BUT, she knew I was there and was ok with it as long as she wasn’t bothered.

OK, that’s a lot better than I expected. I knew she was there and it was hard to not pressure for a meeting, but being allowed on the same property at the same time was a HUGE step, so I let it go. I did ask my sister to ask her when she brought her dinner up, but she said there were too many people for her to come down and her rooms are off-limits. (like me, she likes animals more than most people) On the way back home the next day, I text-ed my sister to thank her for inviting us and to tell her how happy I was that we were able to spend more time together that day than all our previous meetings combined. This evolved into a 2 hour text conversation about how much she wants to get the family back together. She made no promises, but said she will work on a meeting for me with our mother. I’m not going to go into all of the private details, but I found out a lot more about her and I am hopeful that my sister can get her to agree.

We also agreed that I should write her a letter. I am trying to formulate what to say because, lets face it, I have 44 years of unanswered questions that I don’t want to bombard her with. She’d never want to meet me then. LOL. I am hoping that I can put all the questions behind me and start with a clean slate. She gave me up for a reason, one I won’t ask about. It was probably a very painful decision that she had to make. Being a mother myself, I can’t imagine either of my kids not being with me. She could be wallowing in that and be afraid to meet me because she may think I’m mad at her. Maybe she thinks I just want to tell her off, then she’d have to lose me all over again. I dunno, just speculation there, anyway I want to ease some of this wonder and pain for both of us by living in the now..

I have to let go of the whys and hows and not expect answers. I have to just be content with the fact that there is now a maybe where there once was a NEVER.


How do we put the World to rights?

Dreamwalker's Sanctuary

Confucius Sue Dreamwalker

There are many who walk this pathway on our Earth journey, who finds themselves lost. Unable to see a clear path of where their journey is taking them.. As they scramble over the rocks in life, dragging themselves out of the pits of despair, as they get sucked deeper into the mires of debt, drugs, and depression, as their world around them seems to collapse which pulls them ever deeper into the dark forces of negativity.

I see it every day on the streets, as I look into the faces of people who never smile, I see it in the devil may care attitude of some of our youth as they play havoc in a world where adults now seem to fear children for what they are becoming, with their ‘you can’t touch me’ attitude ‘I’m a minor’ and can get away with murder, which some do, and some have..

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