So here I sit, wondering when I will stop floundering through life and actually get to live a little instead of working to survive.
I was raised by a mother that stayed home and took care of her family while my father worked to provide for that family. That’s what I thought I would be doing when I became a mother.
Instead, I had to be mother, father and sibling to my son while working full time to support us. Now he’s grown and has his own child to support. Needless to say, wasn’t easy and I made a lot of mistakes along the way, but all in all, we did ok.
Now I am a grandmother with a young daughter to provide for as well. Guess what, I am still working full time, living paycheck to paycheck and don’t have time for much.
I know that they say you need to ‘be the change you want to see’, but who has time to make it happen when as usual, survival is #1 priority.
So, tell me, oh wise ones, where is the break I’ve been so needing this past 30 or so years. When can I have the job I love, caring for the people I love and being creative? When can this rat race roller coaster let me go a little and let me have the life I’ve always dreamed of.
All I really want is a simpler life, I want to grow food, make things, cook and clean and most of all, be there for my family. I’m tired of saying, sorry I can’t go baby, mommy has to work, or, I worked all day and I’m tired.
One day I’ll be gone and I don’t want that to be my kids most common memory of me.
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